Visiting relatives and friends is a beautiful act and very much encouraged in Islam. That is because Allah has commanded us to strengthen ties with family, as well as with other Muslims.
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Allah, the Almighty and Exalted said, ‘I am the Merciful (ar-Rahman). I have created ties of kinship and derived a name for it from My Name. If anyone maintains ties of kinship, I maintain connection with him, and I cut off anyone who cuts them off.’” (Al Adab Al Muhrad)
Visiting relatives is one of the best ways to maintain strong ties. That is why it is important to do it the right way, in order to achieve the best results and not the counter effect. Here are some tips I hope you find useful.
1.Do not show up unexpectedly
We live in a world where technology has made communication very easy. With just a phone call, you can inform the person you wish to visit about your intentions. That way, you would not be an inconvenience. They would know when to expect you and can be better prepared.
2.Do not overstay
Know when to leave. It is not ideal for you to visit people and stay for more than absolutely necessary. Even if your hosts do not complain, your stay may be affecting them. You do not want to be that person that people feel anxious having around because of your record of not knowing when to leave.
3.Do not reject gifts
In some places, when you visit someone and are leaving, they would give you gifts. Always accept the gifts graciously and never forget to show gratitude. Of course, am not saying if they gifted you with idols. But even if it were idols, you can still turn down the gift as politely as possible so as not to hurt their feelings.
4.Do not reject food
Anyone who knows women know that women do not like it when their food is rejected or not eaten properly. If the food is so bad that you really can’t eat it, there is always a polite way to decline. Eat a little bit, do not frown or complain, and perhaps claim that you ate earlier. Thank the cook and excuse yourself. Always be polite.
5.Do not disrespect norms and customs
Every society and every home has certain rules. When you visit people, try to learn their ways. As long as they not against islamic principles, try to follow those rules too. Or at least respect their ways of doing things and never ever criticize. However, if what they do are against the islamic teachings, you can find the most polite and nice way to maybe hint at it. Be careful not to go around being a scholar or giving lectures. For instance, if you went to a house where they always miss salaat, or where the males do not go to the masjid. You should not just go to them and start commanding them. Instead, you could wait until it is time for Asr salaat and ask the boys to locate the nearest masjid for you. Then you can even ask them to accompany you. That way, they may come to see your point, without getting offended. In fact, they may become inspired by you and change!
6.Do not snoop around
Snooping around is very disrespectful and offensive. Compose yourself and go only where you should. Nobody like a person who goes into every room, opens every cupboard or asks excessive questions. Also, do not spy on the people.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said: “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the falsest of speech. Do not eavesdrop; do not spy on one another; do not envy one another; do not forsake one another; do not hate one another. Be, O slaves of Allah, brother.”
Well, there we have it. 6 points to consider the next time you visit someone. If you found this useful, please drop a comment below. Jazakallah.