It is true that being married is one thing, while being able to live with each other is another. Love can conquer all things they say, but of course with a bit of understanding. As men, there are a lot of things we expect from our wives which in most cases we feel is not necessary to tell them. That is probably because we think a woman is should know her duties to her husband. This article looks into things your muslim husband would not tell you because he expects you to figure them out yourself.
He Desires Your Respect
This is not a myth. All women want to know if their husband love them and all men want to find out if their wives respect them among other things. Mind you, from an early age, men are taught to know their place as the bread winners and caretakers of their families. As such, it it important for women especially muslim women, to understand the value of respect for men. Allah said in the Quran:
“Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard” [surah v4:34]
He Desires Your Loyalty
Loyalty goes with respect and these are two important facts that can destroy any marriage in seconds. Loyalty is very important not only in marriage but in any relationship. Your ability to trust determines the strength of a relationship and knowing that your partner will be willing to stick with you when you really need them actually goes a long way. Although most men won’t admit it, it is heart pleasing to know you are married to a woman who is willing to stick with you even when the going gets tough.
He Wants to Have Sex More Often
Some women might think men are narrow-minded for this, but it’s the truth. Men really desire sex, so the next time you want to come up with excuses, do remember that your husband might be going to sleep a little upset with you even if he doesn’t show it. And the more you do it, the more he may start to resent you and at times become unnecessarily mean to you.
According to a hadith from Bukhari and Muslim reads; “When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her ”.
He Thinks About Other Women
This is also not a myth. All men think about other women, although it doesn’t mean he is going to cheat on you or thinking about bringing home a second wife. As a Muslim wife, you must understand that most men have these thoughts at some point in their life and it may not really be harmful. The best way to combat these thoughts is to simply abide by these golden rules: loyalty, respect and physical love.
He Wants to Make You Happy
Its every man’s dreams to make his woman happy and that explains why men take responsibility to care, cloth and make sure you are comfortable. Some times, men get carried away and forget something they normally shouldn’t. So when your husband buys you a gift, accept it, rejoice over it and thank him profusely, And do not be so quick to nag him about the things he doesn’t do right because then he will start to feel that you don’t appreciate or respect (there’s that word again) the things he does do for you.
Correct Him and He Could Be a Better Muslim
We all have flaws and most times we cannot tell them. Only those around us can point them out to us. Maybe your husband isn’t a scholar or the best muslim in the world but with little correction here and there you might just make him one. Of course, it takes deliberate words, soft touch and careful action as people generally do not like to be preached to. Doing this successfully will earn you a righteous husband and the reward for encouraging him to the truth.
“Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.” [Surah 103: v3]
He Loves You, Even If He Doesn’t Always Show It
Most men especially muslim men, are often shy to express their love even to their wives. It might sound quite weird but its true. Besides, men are not very good at showing emotions often and of course you cannot compare your husband to the prophet (SAW). Nonetheless, he can be encouraged to try as much as he can to emulate him(SAW) by trying to treat you the way the prophet (SAW) treated Aisha (RA)
Lastly, because your husband doesn’t treat you in the way you think the Prophet (SAW) treated his wives, doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t love you. It simply means he’s human. May Allah (SWT) grant us husbands which will be our companions not only of this earth but the hereafter as well Amin!