It is often a very exciting and trying time for couples when they are expecting. On the side of the woman, there is a struggle between hormone surges, fatigue, uncertainty and joy. It is a miracle to conceive, and a blessed one at that. The holy Quran says:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years.” [31:14]
Although men may not directly carry the burden of the pregnancy, taking care of a pregnant wife, making sure one keeps up with her every need, every doctor’s appointment and every mood swing is no easy job. At the same time, pregnancy brings much joy to the expecting parents, for it is a product of the love between them. In this light, Muslims need to strengthen their faith in Allah, and place their trust in Him. Here are a few things to remember during pregnancy:
#1. You are by all account not the only one frightened by this
If you are thinking of how difficult it will be to bring forth and watch over an infant, rest guaranteed that each lady feels that way when she gets to be pregnant. Nobody was destined to be “the ideal mother”. Indeed, the supposed ‘immaculate mother’ doesn’t exist. Each mother who has ever lived, committed errors and gained from them. Most had truly terrible days amid any of their pregnancy trimesters, when sickness and real throbs made them cry; when their feet swelled up in the ninth month and standing or strolling turned into a bad dream; when they said the most offensive things amid an emotional episode, or when they thought they’d simply never have the capacity to pull through any of the troublesome stages. You are not the only one!
#2. Seek Forgiveness
Eager moms feel remorseful about griping of agony, exhaustion and shortcoming, of being denied of the satisfaction of leisure activities, and for feeling terrified and overpowered about what’s to come. They feel regretful in light of the fact that inside, they realize that in reality, they are being honored by Allah, by being given a child through a securely advancing pregnancy. They realize that scores of ladies would give an arm or leg to be in their position – yet they can’t keep themselves on occasion from feeling sad, desolate, mournful and absolutely hopeless.
Realize that your body is experiencing the greatest change conceivable. Such a change includes passionate and physical changes; heaps of crying, stressing and crying. Be that as it may, there is one extremely viable approach to discharge the relating blame: Repent once a day. It wipes out the sins you do and reduce stress and worry. Keep in mind to proceed with this gainful method amid pregnancy. Recount the istighfar no less than a hundred times each day. It takes just a couple of minutes.
#3. Express gratitude toward Allah
Being honored with a child is surely something we ought to be appreciative for. Advise yourself that you are honored; that to realize that you are fruitful is an exceptionally positive, spirit boosting feeling for a lady. Advise yourself that the embarrassment felt by incalculable ladies, who can’t imagine subsequent to being hitched for quite a long while, is a great deal all the more mentally and inwardly, attempting than a couple of months of agony, shortcoming and weakness.
Regardless of the fact that your pregnancy is “spontaneous” or “undesirable” – compel yourself to express gratitude toward Allah for this gift, on the grounds that a devout child is one of the best blessings and reward after a Muslim leaves this world. Also, recall that a devout child is one of the real wellsprings of constant blessings for a Muslim even after death.
#4. Get your work done/pick up learning
Pick up learning about pregnancy and labor on its Islamic decisions and statute, as well as medical information about what is happening inside your body. Surfing on the Internet is an extremely proficient approach to discover the nuts and bolts, which would separate between the certainties and myths.
#5. Acquaint the Qur’an with your infant
At the point when the baby is mature, soon after the initial three months of pregnancy are up, it can hear sounds from outside the mother’s body. While your infant is inside you, it basically distinguishes and gets aquainted to your voice. It is now that medical experts exhort the eager parents to begin conversing with their infant as though it was in that spot before them. The infant rapidly recognizes the voices of individuals it hears the most, particularly its mom.
Make good use of this one-on-one, restrictive bond with your unborn child, which will be gone once the pregnancy is over. Recite the Qur’an (if you are able to, without racing through it) each and every day until the delivery date. Once your fourth month of pregnancy has started, your infant will listen to every last word you articulate. At the point when a mother talks, the sound influxes of her voice go to the child, so imagine how extraordinary the impact of resonant, relieving Qur’an recitation would be on the baby! Isolate your recitation so that the child hears the entire Qur’an in your voice before you put to bed.
#6. Make dua
Recite the du’a that the mother of Maryam Bint `Imran did when she was expecting her baby:
إِذْ قَالَتِ امْرَأَةُ عِمْرَانَ رَبِّ إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لَكَ مَا فِي بَطْنِي مُحَرَّرًا فَتَقَبَّلْ مِنِّي إِنَّكَ أَنتَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
“Behold! a woman of ‘Imran said: ‘O my Lord! I do dedicate unto You what is in my womb for Your special service: So accept this of me: For You hear and know all things.’” [3:35]
#7. Be patient
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said that, “….the woman who dies during pregnancy is a martyr.”[Narrated by Ahmad , Abu Dawud] This definitely implies whilst she is pregnant, she is much the same as a warrior or specialist in Allah’s way. Think! You are bringing a life into this world. Your offpsring is the continuation of a heredity – a predecesssor to numerous more eras, insha’Allah.
The trouble that you are experiencing is composed for you on account of the generosity of the work being taken from you – the significance of the duty of bringing a life, or rather a continuation of existing life, into this world! It is normal to be hit with fears, enthusiastic turmoil, inclination swings, absence of rest, physical weariness, bloating and in the last stages, crippling fixed nature.
To be patient means to make an effort not to say disagreeable and negative things; not to snap at and make life hopeless for others, and to continue on in love and dutifulness to Allah, regardless of the troubles you go through.
With Allah, all things are possible. This is very important to remember and like I mentioned earlier, place your trust in Him Alone. Make sure you seek advice from other Muslim sisters and accept help. May Allah ease our task and grant us all pious children. Ameen.