Funny Muslim Stories That Will Make your day!

1. An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, looked up towards the sky and said Alhamdulillah!

2. During a Jumah Khutbah in a small town, an Imam talked about the significance of saying “Insha Allah” (which means if Allah wills) when planning to do something in the future. After a few days, a man who had also attended the Khutbah was going to buy a cow from the market. On the way, he met a friend who asked him where he was going. He told him about buying the cow but did not say Insha Allah in the end. His friend reminded him about the Khutbah and told him to say Insha Allah. However, this individual said that he had the money he needs and the energy to go to the market, thus, there is no point of saying Insha Allah as he will certainly buy the cow. He thought that saying Insha Allah will not make any difference.

When he reached the market, he found a cow that met his expectations. He bargained with the seller and came to a reasonable price. Finally, he decided to pay for the cow but was dumbfounded when he discovered that his money was missing. A thief had stolen the money while he was walking through the busy market. The cow seller asked him whether he was going to buy the cow or not. “Insha Allah, I will buy it next week,” he said. When he reached home, his wife inquired about the cow. He told her about how he forgot to say Insha Allah, and also added, “Insha Allah, I wanted to buy the cow. But Insha Allah, my money was stolen. Insha Allah, I will buy it next week.” His wife clarified to him that we should say Insha Allah for things that are yet to happen, not for those things that had already happened. He never forgot his “Insha Allah” again.

3. One day some wise men, who were going about the country trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin’s district and asked to see the wisest man in the place. Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen. The first wise man began by asking, “Where is the exact center of the world?” “It is under my right heel,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “How can you prove that?” asked the first wise man. “If you don’t believe me,” answered Mulla Nasruddin, “measure and see.” The first wise man had nothing to answer to that, so the second wise man asked his question. “How many stars are there in the sky?” he said. “As many as there are hairs on my donkey,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “What proof have you got of that?” asked the second wise man. “If you don’t believe me,” answered Mulla Nasruddin, “count the hairs on my donkey and you will see.” “That’s foolish talk,” said the other. “How can one count the hairs on a donkey?” “Well,” answered Mulla Nasruddin, “How can one count the stars in the sky? If one is foolish talk, so is the other.” The second wise man was silent. The third wise man was becoming annoyed with Mulla Nasruddin and his answers, so he said, “You seem to know a lot about your donkey, so can you tell me how many hairs there are in its tail?” “Yes,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “There are exactly as many hairs in its tail as there are in your beard.” “How can you prove that?” said the other. “I can prove it very easily,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “You can pull one hair out of my donkey’s tail for every one I pull out of your beard. If the hairs on my donkey’s tail do not come to an end at exactly the same time as the hairs in your beard, I will admit that I was wrong.” Of course, the third wise man was not willing to do this, so the crowd declared Mulla Nasruddin the winner of the day’s arguments.

4. The wit and wisdom of Mulla Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mulla Nasruddin with a letter he had received. Mulla Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mulla Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man. I am sorry, but I cannot read this. The man cried: Shame, Mulla Nasruddin! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i.e. the sign of education). Mulla Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said:There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself.

5. A poor man went on making tawaaf around the Ka’aba saying “Oh Allah forgive us and tajaawaz anna (??)” And so the poor man was supplicating. [Eventually] He became very hot and had a heat stroke and collapsed on the ground. So they (people) picked him up and took him to the Ajyaad Hospital, opposite the Haram. They put him in the hospital – cool was the place with a white bed and bed cover and cool moist air was blown onto him. After 4-5 hours, he awoke. Upon waking up, he turned right and left only to find the room all white. He looked to the bed cover, mattress and bed only to find that they [too] where white. The poor man smelt the smell [in the room] – and of course it was the smell of dettol – but it was better than his smell, and the smell pleased him. So he assumed that he was in Jannah! (Paradise) [To which] he exclaimed: “Allahu Akbar! Ash-hadu anna wa’ad Allahi hakun! Al JANNAH! Al Jannah! (Allah is the greatest! I bear witness that Allah’s promise is true! Al Jannah! Al Jannah!”)” He then turned to his right and found 5 Filippino nurses [standing there]. When he saw them wearing all white, he said: “Allahu Akbar! Al hoor al ayn! Al hoor al ayn! Al hoor al ayn!” [the women of Paradise]. The nurses didn’t understand what this man was saying. So they assumed that he was crazy. [This man then] tried to get out of his bed, he took the bed cover [off him] and threw it down, to get to the “Hoor Al Ayn”. The nurses rushed towards him to hold him. So he told them, “No, one by one, one by one!” So the poor man thought he was [in Jannah/Paradise] with the Hoor Al Ayn!

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