Salient Points on Interrelating with Your Child (PART 2.)

#1.Show Love to Children

One of the soul-foods of a child is cuddling and kissing him/her, it is necessary for this expression of love be given to children. Children have confident personalities if they grow up with a lot of love.

Imam Sadiq narrated that: “Certainly Allah (Subanahu wa Ta’alla) shows mercy upon His servants who have strong love for their offspring.”

#2.Separate Your Children’s Beds

Six-year old children’s bed should be separated from each other, especially when they are of different gender.

#3.Let Children Beware of the Gravity of Sins

It is the responsibility upon parents to make their children understand the indecency of sins and also create in them a dislike of the actions of the people who take part in sins. As a parent, be firm in stopping your kids from indulging in sinful activities while be persistent in encouraging them to do good actions.

#4.Lead by Example

A parent’s instructions can only be effective if the parent lead by example. Parents should set an example themselves that back-biting, bad language, etc. are not good behaviors so children will naturally refrain from such vile acts.

#5.Exercising Patience

Parents should bear the unexpected behavior of a child to a limit and not take your child’s mistake as unforgivable every time. Forgiveness, patience, and coping are also vital when raising a child. When parents always tell their child off, it might create stubbornness in them. According to a narration from Imam Ali “Excess reproach fuels the fire of stubbornness.”

#6.Be Flexible

You should allow children to play freely at home. There should however be a difference in what you allow your child to do outside your home in the public sphere and what you let them do within the confines of your home.

#7.Avoid Comparing Your Kids with Others

Parents should avoid constantly mentioning or comparing their children with others when instructing them.

#8.Be Gentle toward Your Children’s Actions

Your child’s mischievousness in early years is a sign of increase of intelligence in the older years, so parents should not be too worried or constantly punish them.

#9.Story Telling

Narrating stories to your child is a useful and vital method to encourage good characteristics and qualities in your child and also discouraging bad ones.

When selecting stories, make sure to keep these in mind:

  • Mention the name of Allah (Subanahu wa Ta’alla) in some form or the other and make sure they also mention it, with the intention of nurturing the characteristics and personality of your child
  • When choosing a story, you should consider the age of the child, mental state, and intelligence
  • Make sure to exclude lies, extremism, or rumors from the stories
  • The story you narrate to the child should contain answers to the child’s questions
  • You should make sure to choose the best stories as Allah (Subanahu wa Ta’alla) stated in Surat Yusuf “We will recount to you the best of narratives.”
  • Righteousness and truth should always prevail in the stories you narrate
  • The main character of the stories should not possess bad characteristics or deviations
  • The stories you narrate to children should be a bit short and comprehensive and not too lengthy and tiring for the child
  • From 7 years, you should make your child perform Salat, and depending on their capabilities, make them fast from 9 years, either half a day or more or less
  • It weakens the sense of curiosity of the child if you should condemn them for tiring you with a lot of questions
  • Parents should not be quick to accuse their children of lying
  • You should avoid quarrelling in the presence of your children. This could affect their personality and trouble them greatly
  • Parents should focus on their children and find out about their talents and develop them as possible.
  • Children fear death, particularly the death of their parents. So parents should avoid constantly speaking of their death, or the like. You should however calmly and clearly teach your child the truth about death, without prompting fear.
  • Parents should show love and kindness to their children, this creates calmness and happiness in the child
  • Allow your children freedom and independence according to their capabilities; this could help develop self-trust and inner independence in them. Parents should however not allow them to exceed the necessary limits.
  • You should make sure to raise your child properly because it is your responsibility as a parent. Parents should make certain to create the love of Allah and the Ahlul Bayt (family of the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi wa salaam) in their children in various ways, so the child follows the right path.
  • Teach your children how to recite the holy Qur’an. Reciting the Qur’an at home spreads the superior words of the reality and truth of the beautiful religion of Islam. It is important for the child to be in an environment where he/she is familiar with the Noble Qur’an, hears and listens to the recitation of the Qur’an and acts upon its instructions. This positively affects the child throughout his/her life. You should encourage your child to recite the Noble Qur’an with you when you are reciting it.

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