I will commence with an ayah form the holy Quran which says;
“Arrange the marriage of the spouseless among you, and the capable from among your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of his grace. Allah is All-encompassing, Al-knowing” [24:32]
Marriage is a desire of all humans and has been made legal for mature males to seek marriage from mature women which they desire and vice-versa. But as we know, in islam, nothing is done out of the blue or based solely on our personal thoughts; its mostly done based on the teachings of the Quran and hadith. This article will be looking at some of the common mistakes we introduce either while preparing for our nikah (marriage) or during the walimah (banquet).
Avoid Israaf (wastage)
Yes, it is true that while organizing an event you must make sure that everyone invited doesn’t leave with an empty stomach. As such, we go out of our way cooking all kinds of meals and drinks for our guests forgetting the fact that Allah said:
“Eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance)”. Surah Al-Araf, Verse 31
Wedding pictures or photo Albums
It’s a common act today to snap as many pictures as we can on wedding events. Every act is taken in a picture and saved for so called memories, and there are those for the social media as well as those for the album. We forget that doing that only makes us sell our beautifully married wives to the world. The Prophet (pbuh) said;
“The most severely punished people on the Day of Resurrection would be the image-makers.” [Bukhaari and Muslim]
Music!!! Its truly unimaginable to have an event without music today. However, as muslims, we must remember that life is not about our own way but the way our creator. Consequently, it is possible to organize a walimah without music because islam doesn’t entertain music.
“Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa, silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari)
It is normal to look dazzling on you wedding, day but the big question here is for whom? Islamically, only your husband, parents, in-laws and siblings are allowed to see you looking that beautiful. If you know you can restrict your irresistible look to these small number of people, then you are allowed. Otherwise, it would be wiser for you to use a niqqab. This is because any man who stares at you at the event and admires you puts you at risk of being judged by the Creator.
“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance”. Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 33
Inviting only the elites
Today a gathering or wedding ceremony is rated by the number of highly placed individuals invited or cheering the event. As muslims however, we are meant to understand that in the sight of Allah we are all equal. The rich might grace the event with cheers and gifts but the poor might grace it with sincere dua, so you be the judge, which would you prefer?
“The worst food is the food of a wedding banquet in which the rich are invited but the poor are left out.” Sahih Muslim
Actions are judged by intentions and no one but Allah see what our intentions are. For that reason, it is wise to avoid doing things to show-off because that is simply the devil trying to ruin your good intention. Your nikah should not be organized with the intention to be the talk of the town but rather the most blessed.
“Allah the Exalted will say to them, (who show off), on the Day of Resurrection when the people are being rewarded for their deeds: Go to those whom you wished to show off in the world and look for your reward with them.” (Musnad Ahmad Hadith 23119)
There is only one person worthy of imitation on earth and that is prophet Muhammad (SAW). It is very wrong for muslims to want to imitate others aside him. Read about the wedding of Fatima and Ali, as well as the other companions of Rasulullah(SAW). Plan yours based on their examples, and avoid planning an avenue where immorality becomes the order of the day- where bride and groom will have to kiss, dance and expose their sexualities. The prophet says;
“Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, hasan sahih
Although it might not be easy, it is better to do the right thing as ordered by Allah (SWT) and save ourselves and those whom we love from being asked on the day of reckoning. May Allah grant us the ability to plan our nikah following Islamic morals and etiquettes amin!