Grief at times consumes, meaning it affects not just our hearts but even the way we think and act. You may disbelieve that your beloved has actually passed away as Sayyidunaa ‘Umar (RadiyAllahu ‘anu) did.
When the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallam) passed away Sayyidunaa ‘Umar (ra) said, ‘By Allah, if anyone mentions that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallam) has died, I will strike him with this sword of mine’. [The entire narration is related by Al-Tirmidhi in Al-Shamail; by Ibn Majah in Al-Salah (The chapter on the Messenger of Allah’s prayer during his sickness); by Al-Tabarani, in Al-Kabir; part of it by al-Bukhari, in his Sahih; and part of it by Al-Nisa’i.]
Muslim belief in dealing with grief
Muslims are advised to comfort the bereaved person by visiting them, strengthening their faith, offering them food, and reciting the Qur’an. Although grieving may never fully end, the period of outward mourning lasts no more than three days.
The first thing that a believer should realize is that the calamity is from God. The Quran declares:
“All things (good and bad) are from God.” (Quran 4:78)
Once we realize that it is from God, we should realize that God is the Most Loving (Al-Wadud) and the Most Kind (Al-Barr). Therefore, there is some good in whatever God has decreed for us, even if we do not immediately see what it is. God Almighty says:
“Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216).
Muslims are advised to turn to Allah in their time of distress and grief. The use of religious parables, the life story of the prophet Muhammad and the multiple losses of his loved ones, are all beneficial when dealing with grief, as are Hadith and ‘surah’ from the Qur’an such as: ‘He guides to Himself those who turn to Him in penitence, those who believe and whose heart has rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest. ‘ (Qur’an 13:27-28)
Muslims also believe that Allah appoints a time for each person to pass from this existence into the next and that death is inevitable and will take place when the time is right, and there is after death life
Losing someone you love is tough but when you accept that it is from Allah as all conditions are, it makes it so much more manageable. When we have Imaan, we will take charge of our own lives and accept responsibility in a disciplined way, and this reduces the causes of guilt and sets in motion wise processes necessary for the management of grief.
May Allah make it easy for all of us who have lost our near and dear ones. May Allah heal our hearts and comfort us when their memory comes flashing before us. May we never utter any statement against Allah for He truly knows best.