Are you thinking of having a spouse? Then this piece is right in your alley.
#1.To Begin with -Spouse Selection
Selecting your future partner is essential in Islam. The most valued criteria to look for in potential partners are their commitment to Islam (the most pious). However, Islam accepts other attributes such as beauty, family status and wealth in determining your future partner.
According to the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, “A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (obedience to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper.” (Saheeh Ahmed). Another Hadith tells us that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser” (Bukhari).
The same criteria holds true when a woman is considering a man’s request for marriage. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ says: “When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be a great corruption and great evil on earth” (Tirmidhi).
Islam does not accept forced marriages and both partners should agree to the marriage on their own free will. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said “A woman whom has been married has more right concerning herself and a virgin’s consent must be asked about herself…” (Bukhari and Muslim)
#2. Courtship- Al-Khutba Guidelines
After an unforced agreement has been made between the two parties for marriage the Prophet ﷺ is quoted to have said that “Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time to be strengthened.” This indicates that it is permissible in Islam to look at your future partner’s face before the consummation of the marriage.
However, after reaching a marriage agreement, both parties must not engage in sexual intimacies or romance before the consummation of the marriage. The future husband is not the woman’s Mahram -among men allowed to mingle with her, namely her brothers, sons, maternal and paternal uncles and nephews.
#Step 3: Wedding Ceremony Elements
- Consent: The woman involved in the marriage should give her consent with no force from any family member. This can either be done verbally, written or n the form of pure silence. As the Great Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Her silence is her permission.”
- The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): The Great Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “There is no Nikah without a Wallee.” (Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi)
- Two witnesses: The Prophet ﷺ stated, “There is no marriage except with a Wallee and two trustworthy witnesses.” (Sahih-Bayhaqee).
- The Mahr: As written in the Holy Quran, Allah says: “And give to the women their dowry with a good heart, but if they out of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm”. (Al Nisa 4:4). The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said that Mahr can be any amount.
May Allaah bring happiness and guidance to all couples.